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Surviving Valentine’s Day as a Singleton

fridge boyDISCLAIMER: This guide does not condone violence against couples. No matter how smug and self-contented they are.

Because Christmas and New Year’s as a single person is apparently not depressing enough, the thoughtful folks in card shops decide to start selling Valentine’s Day merchandise immediately after to ensure you don’t forget to drink two bottles of wine and text that guy you worked with three years ago and had that awkward work’s party encounter with to check what his plans are on the 14th. Here’s a couple of ideas to help you say, NO, HALLMARK, YOU SINGLE SHAMERS!

Never Liked It Anyway!

Yes, I’m sure that necklace he gave you is really nice, but so are those new burgundy desert boots in Office. This site is perfect for getting rid of your ex’s gifts because not only are you getting money for your unwanted memories, you are encouraged to share your tale of break up woe with all the other women scorned, so it’s like getting paid for therapy!

singles awareness

Go to the Gym

Ok, I know…just hear me out. Sitting at home and Bridget Jonesing while stuffing your face with Ben & Jerry’s (two men who never stick around that long either) and miming along to All By Myself in your pyjamas is not really the answer, is it? Why not treat yourself to a happiness high and release some endorphins while listening to a really predictable yet effective anti-relationship playlist? Whatever music you’re into, there’s sure to be a few songs about how every member of the opposite sex is evil. Survivor by Destiny’s Child, Here I Go Again On My Own by Whitesnake, literally anything by Taylor ‘Maybe It’s Me?’ Swift – take your pick. Added bonus: the hot men/women there that day are single. Probably.

antivalentines2

Excuse for a Night Out! Not That You Need One…

Hopefully, if you’re like me, you’ve got a bit of a Single Person’s Support Network going on, even if it’s just one other romantically-challenged individual. A night out or even night in with a group of people who are just as emotionally repressed and wonderfully peculiar as you will remind you that even though you’re single, there are people that love you unconditionally and choose to spend time with you because you’re fabulous. Plus you’ll be drunk.

meh

Treat Yourself!

Think about it; if you were in a relationship, you would have to buy a card at the very least, and my experiences lately show that all cards are now about ¬£18.50, even for the ones that haven’t bothered to shove a lame poem inside. You would probably also have to buy a gift, maybe a bunch of flowers that are hours from death or those hideous cardboard flavoured chocolates that they are able to charge triple the price for because they come in a red heart-shaped box. Dinner maybe, or drinks? Getting your hair done, or other annoying yet essential grooming procedures? It all adds up. But if you’re single, it all adds up to self-indulgence. For me? Why, me, you shouldn’t have!

cat

Hold On a Minute – I Like Being Single..

OK, I know I gripe and moan about it, but although there are obviously amazing things about being with someone, it’s also sometimes pretty great being single. Because you’re never really ‘alone’, are you? Take some time to appreciate some of the things that you fill your time with that make you feel wonder when you would ever fit a relationship into your schedule! It may sound cheesy or cliche, but it is true – it might be being shoved down your throat, but you can choose to spit it out into the napkin of life and move on (I’m aware that’s a really weird sentence). Have a happy February 14th! xxx

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